Of Sues and Stus: Disrupting Aayla and Kit
by E for Exotic
Summary: A collection of Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu parodies, both multi-chapter and one-shots. Features a variety of Sues and Stus who love to steal the other half from your favorite couple. Aayla/Kit. Rated T for safety.
1. Purity Sue: Introduction

**Obsession with Kit Fisto**

**Part One: Purity Sue**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the SW universe and its characters, but I do own these Sues and some non-Sue OCs**_

_**WARNING: EXTREME OOC-NESS AND PARODY SUES**_

**A/N: Guys, please note that this is mainly for humor. I am not any serious about this fic. I do not intend to offend any of the Suethors out there by posting this fic. By the way, thanks to TheLightIsMine for the brilliant Mary-Sue name suggestion! (Fayle = Fail)**

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**Chapter 1**

**Introduction**

**(A/N: The letters in bold are my comments, while the rest are set on Suethor style. So, here we go and please brace yourselves! Indication: Stop reading when you're starting to develop a headache.)**

Chapter 1: Crystal the Beautiful Girl

(a/n: hey guys my name is Faylea Cantiquez Permata Indah **(This is a very ridiculous name for an Indonesian)**. This is my first star wars fanfic so please be nice :D. if u don't like Kit Fisto get out of here! btw thanx to Dryan for checking! Dri, I heart u so much!)

Hi, my name is Crystalline Purity Fayle, but people usually call me Crystal. Isn't my name cute? I'm a human female girl, and I live in a small town called Purewater on the planet Purplect. I live there with my parents, Giselle Mary-Anne Fayle and Johan Fayle, along with my younger sister, Evangeline Charity Fayle. My parents are a pair of merchants who sell various kinds of expensive silk.

Like me, my sister Evangeline is also beautiful. We were said to be the most beautiful girls in the town. Evangeline has long, golden-brown hair that cascades to the floor, shimmering in the sunlight like spun gold. Her intense emerald eyes could stare right into your soul, and her creamy skin is flawless. Although people say we're both pretty, they often say I'm prettier than Evangeline. My maroon-brown hair is long and silky; it reaches my mid-back and shines in the light and swishes with my graceful movements. I often wear a pink flower hairclip to keep my bangs neat and tidy. My eyes are a lovely shade of forest green, and are as clear as crystals. My delicate skin is fair and light. The sunray never damaged nor tanned my skin although I liked to play in the afternoon. (AN: SHEZ MEEE!)

I'm a very shy person, and I'm not eager to meet new people. I love cooking for my family, reading books, singing, and helping people while taking care of my parents' shop. I'm also shy, sweet, funny, cute, innocent, kind-hearted, generous, and I care a lot for the people she loves. I always forgive the people who insulted or did something bad to me. I don't like war or any harsh things. I love animals and I'm gentle to most of them. (A/N: She's such a nice girl, isn't she? Yay!)

I've mentioned that I love animals, haven't I? I have several cute, fluffy cats and a golden horse named Peggy. My cats' names are Jeanne, Louisa, Samantha, and Delilah. Jeanne has thick azure fur and green eyes, Louisa has rose-magenta fur and red eyes, and Samantha has mahogany-brown fur and sweet chocolate eyes, while Delilah has rainbow fur and rainbow eyes (LULZ, Alien cats!).

Now, back to the story…

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(Author's pov)

It was a beautiful morning at Purewater town. The sun shone brightly, and the weather is so lovely. Birds chirped as they flew in joy of another bright day on Purplect. Crystal sat on a small chair beside her bedroom's window. She looked through the window as she brushed her silky, maroon-brown hair with her ornate silver comb. Her beautiful hair descended until it reached her mid-back, swaying gracefully with her movements.

"Crystal? Crystal? It's me, Evangeline," a voice suddenly called from outside. Crystal put down her brush and went to open the door.

"Evangeline, what is it?" she asked in her sweet, soft voice.

"Sister, dad wants you to buy some supplies at the market. Here are some credits," Evangeline handed over a wooden basket and several credit chips to her older sister.

"Okay. I'll get ready," Crystal smiled at Evangeline and closed the door.

Crystal put the basket and the credit chips on her desk and began dressing up for the day. Today, she is wearing a beautiful lavender dress made Ottegan silk. Her parents bought the expensive fabric from Corelloin traders. The dress has long sleeves that covered up the flawless skin of her arms. She let her long hair down and clipped her bangs with a pink flower hairclip. Now, she is ready to go to the market.

Crystal ran down the stairs of her mansion and waved goodbye to her family as she went outside the door. She skipped joyfully down the streets and hummed a merry melody

She later passed her three friends, Vinnie Beautiful, Audrey Princessa, and Gordena Tua.

"Hi, Crystal!" Vinnie, Audrey, and Gordena greeted her.

"Hello my friends!" Crystal gave them a bright smile. "Come with me to the market!"

"Sure," Audrey says. Vinnie and Gordena nodded in agreement.

Then, the three young women walked down the streets of Purewater town, smiling happily. All three were beautiful, but Crystal outshone them all.

(Two hours later…)

When they finished shopping and went to return home, three muscled hooligans blocked their path.

"Hey, it's Crystal from the Fayle family!" yelled one of the men. "And her friends!"

"AAAHH!" all three girls screamed in fright.

"C'mon, girls. Give me your jewelry!" another men said menacingly.

Before the hooligans could take Crystal's precious necklace, a hazy blur of green and brown hit the nearest hooligan and brought him down. Crystal gasped cutely in surprise. Vinnie, Audrey and Gordena also gasped, but not as cute as Crystal's gasp.

Within two eye blinks, all of the hooligans are unconscious on the ground.

(Crystal's pov)

My forest green eyes looked into the eyes of our rescuer. He was a handsome green-skinned Nautolan! And he appears to be a Jedi Knight! I blushed lightly at the sight of him. He's sooo handsome!1!

(an: if you don't like Kit Fisto get outta here!)

"Are you all right, my lady?" he asked. I wanted to faint when I heard his dazzling romantic baritone voice.

"I-I'm all right. Who are you?"

"I'm Jedi Master Kit Fisto. I was tasked by your parents to guard you, if you are indeed Crystalline Fayle."

"Ooh! Yes, I am. Just call me Crystal, please. And these are my friends, Vinnie, Audrey, and Gordena," I smiled shyly at him while introducing my friends.

"May I escort you to your mansion, Crystal?" he asked. Ahh! He's soooo handsome! (an :right? Right?)

"Yes please" I said shyly. My smooth cheeks blushed like the red rose.

So, he took my hand in his and led me to my house through the streets, while my other friends went home.

(an: so guys... how was the first chapter? Do you like it? Do you like my pretty OC? plz review)

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**A/N: God, my brain hurts from writing this! By the way, was it too short? I made it short for a purpose. Suethors usually make their first chapter merely as an introduction to their OC. If you have any suggestions, please do not hesitate to mention it in your review. Oh and, you can reply to both my little experimental dummy 'Faylea' and me (or maybe Dryan, my other dummy).**

**Regards,**

**Agent E**


	2. Purity Sue: Purple Prose and Plot Twists

**Chapter 2**

**Some Purple Prose and 'Plot' Twists**

**Disclaimer: The Star Wars universe is not mine. If I owned it, it'll be crappier.**

**A/N: Well, well, well… the worst internet author a.k.a. 'Agent E' has returned. I'm sorry for the super late update, readers. I have thousands of **_**lame**_** excuses, really. Coruscant Nights, some EU stuff, and tons of personal errands have caught my attention… until I forgot to update my dear fanfic. Silly me… Well, most of you readers probably know how **_**torturing**_** it is to write badfics on purpose and I have been avoiding it a bit (it fries my brains). It's actually entertaining as well, but in a twisted way.**

**In addition, I have decided to include both Sues and Stus in this fanfic collection (which is why I changed the title). I'm still looking for insane ideas of assassinating the Sues, so suggestions are very welcome. Oh and, most of my parody Sues/Stus will not follow Tara Gilesbie/Todd's style. I do not wish to copy the Queen of Trolls. Todd/Tara's style is too common. I will either use another sample or use my personal style, OK?**

**Ayy Kaim: Be patient. You'll get to see her killed later, don't worry.**

**AaylaKit: Thanks! Yes, there will be more chapters. This is still Part One: Purity Sue. There are still loads ahead. By the way, you may flame at Faylea, so she could reply in a more Suethor-ish style. Don't worry about Kit. Someone will slap him back into himself.**

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**(Here we go again… I promise it's longer. Just get ready for more purple prose. Oh and, I inspired the purple prose from Twilight, a certain extremely fluffy A/K fic, and an Obi-Wan/OC badfic you might know. I don't mind lemons, but extreme fluff often sickens me to the stomach)**

Chapter 2

Reunion and Leaving

(AN: Aww… why do you want to chainsaw my pretty little OC, Ayy Kaim? You're cruel! Okay, for those who don't hate Crystal, here is chapter 2. This chapter is not beta-read by Dryan. He's sick and in the hospital now. Dri, I heart you forever…)

(This is Crystal's POV… I hope u like it)

So we walked threw the city streets. I walked beside Audrey and Master Fisto while Vinnie and Gordena were beside Audrey. Somehow I couldn't stop looking at Master Fisto's face because I think he is so stunningly, blissfully, absolutely handsome. (right?right?) when he looked at me with a warm gaze in his molten chocolate eyes, I almost melted. I felt week on my knees and almost dropped to the ground, but Master Fisto somehow caught me.

"Are you alright, Ms. Fayle?" he asked as he caught my arm. His voice ran so clear like a deep chime it made my body shaking.

I almost died of panic and stuttered "I-I'm okay, Master Fisto"

He smirked charmingly and speaked in that enchanting voice of his "Please, just call me Kit"

I smiled ear to ear as I felt my cheeks blush red. "K-kit"

Audrey, Vinnie and Gordena chuckled and whispered to each other. I hear them say "Crystal's in love" and I blushed even more as I ran a hand through my smooth maroon-brown hair. I readjusted my hairclip while sunlight made the strans of my hair shine and glimmer.

"And please just call me Crystal" I stammered shyly in my sweet innocent voice, still smiling at the handsome young Jedi Master. My crystal-clear forest green eyes beamed in wonder and curiosity as they met his dark orbs.

Audrey coughed and interrupted us. Vinnie and Gordena giggled like a pair of adulesents. My face turned red but Kit didn't seem to realize it. Good thing, then.

"When are we going to go home, Master Jedi?" Audrey asked bravely. The redhead was always so brave but most townspeople still say I'm prettier than her.

Kit smiled warmly at them. I am surprised they stayed calm. "I shall escort you now, ladies."

(Author's POV)

After dropping Vinnie, Audrey, and Gordena at their homes, Crystal and Kit continued their journey. Crystal tried her best to keep the gap between kit and her while trying to cover her redden face. They walked in silent and awkwardness before Kit decided to broke the silence.

"Crystal?" he said.

(Crystal's POV)

I stared to the ground and was startled when he called my name. His voice was so clear it sent shivers down my spine. My beautiful, silky, shiny maroon-brown hair swished lightly from my graceful movement. I brushed a hand through my Ottegan silk lavender dress and looked up to his eyes.

"Y-yes, Mas- I mean Kit" I stammered shyly and sweetly. I blushed again.

"Are you alright?" he ask politely.

I blushed at his concerned voice tone. My heart almost exploding out of my chest. I manage to stammer "Yes, I-I am."

I nearly melted again at his warm, enchanting gaze.

"Perhaps we should return to your mansion as fast as possible. You don't look so well" he said. He smiled warmly at me and I almost fell to the ground again.

He caught my hand… (OMG That is sooo romantic! Right? Right? :D)

"oh!" I gasped. My hands felt so perfect in his. Somehow there's a spark between us! Oh, I'm in love with him! But he's a Jedi! Can we ever be together?

"Come, Crystal."

I walked by his side with my hand in his. Oh it feels so perfect! (and sooo romantic!)

Once we have arrived at my mansion, my little sister, Evangeline ran outside and hugged me, her silky golden-brown hair cascading to the floor. I was surprised and I fell to the ground laughing.

"Sister, you're alright! Oh, I'm so worried!" she said, hugging me.

"Don't worry, Evie. There's a Jedi with me, so I'll be just fine" I said reassuring her.

Then, Evangeline smiled and got up and thanked Kit for saving my life.

"Thank you, Master Jedi. Thank you so much!" she thanked him, shaking his hand.

Kit grinned at her and nodded. "It was my pleasure." (a/n: If you don't like Kit get out of here :P)

I got up and stammered to Kit. "Please come in, Kit. My parents are probably waiting for us." It took all my strength to not blush and fall to the ground. Kit nodded politely as Evangeline and I led him inside.

Mom and Dad are sitting there in the living room, when they saw me coming, they got up and rushed towards me, The looks on their faces could tell that they're happy to see me safe and sound. They both hugged me tightly.

"Oh Crystal you're safe!" my mom exclaimed after releasing me from her tight hug.

"Mom I'm alright. Jedi master Kit Fisto saved my life" I said, smiling sweetly and delicately at her.

Mom smiled back at me and then thanked Kit. "Thank you Master Jedi. What could my daughter be without you?"

Kit smiled his charming signature smile. "I'm glad I could help Mrs. Fayle" his smile faded. "But I'm afraid I'll have to leave Purplect and return to Corusant soon."

What? He's going back to the temple? I frowned. I was sure I'm going to be with the love of my life forever. What am I going to do without him?

Dad stepped forward and speaked. "Giselle and I have to go to Corelia for business in a few weeks. Evangeline is going to her uncle's house while I'm pretty sure Crystal doesn't want to go there. Can you take her to Corusant with you, Master Jedi?"

Kit nodded. "Of course I can. I have no missions right now so I can take care of her. She can stay in an apartment. But does she want to go to Corusant?"

My heart felt like it stopped beating. I'm going with him! I don't need to go to my grumpy old uncle's house! My face immediately brightened up, a smile decorating my innocent face. Taking a deep, deep breath, I replied, my voice like silk. "Yes, I do want to go to Corusant!"

Mom smiled at me, which I replied with a sweet smile. "Then what are you waiting for? Get packing!"

Butterflies lurched in my stomach and made me feel warm in the inside. I quickly ran upstairs, forgetting if I accidentally hit an item. I ran to my room and opened the door. My colorful cats came out and purred on my foot.

"Aww! Get inside, kitties" I told them softly, smiling delicately at them.

Jeanne, the cat with thick azure fur stopped purring and scrambled inside again, so did the other three. I went inside. My room was large, decorated with rainbow sparkly wallpaper. My bed is rather big, too. It has purple bedsheet and fine violet linen covers.

"Ah, I'm going to Corusant with him" I sighed dreamily. His hands are so strong… I imagined how it wuld feel like to be in his arms, protected and…

Oh! I snapped out of my thoughts when Delilah the rainbow cat meowed and huddled close to my foot. "What is it Delilah? You can't come with me. Don't worry, Evangeline will take good care of you" I brushed her soft fur. She scrambled back to her fellow cats and lay on her little bed.

Then I opened my huge wardrobe and begin packing. I chose a knee-length yellow summer dress, an elegant blue gown made of expensive silk, a pastel pink velvet dress, a sparkly lavender gown that has some bits of gems on the skirt, several cute shirts, some skirts, and various accessories.

I brushed my hair and so it felt like strands of silk. I applied some flower-stented perfume and put the perfume inside the baggage. I changed into a flower-patterned cute dress. I also wore a cream stocking and a pair of matching high-heeled shoes. I put on a cute necklace, small earrings, and a cute, simple bracelet. Then, I continued packing.

After I finished packing, a maid came to help me carry my red velvet baggage. We went back to the living room. I saw Mom, Dad, Evangeline, and Kit chatting while sitting in the sofa.

"Oh there you are, Crystal" mom greeted me. I took a seat beside Kit, struggling not to blush. Kit smiled at me and instantly I felt my heart drop for a while. I almost died when he smiled.

Dad said "Crystal, you will stay on Corusant for three weeks. After that, Kit will take you back to Purplect. Be a good girl there"

I nodded and smiled sweetly, innocence pouring from my eyes. "Yes, daddy." I'm always a good girl, just like my parents told me to be like. (a/n: Yes, Crystal is a very nice girl. Why do you hate her?)

But why is it just three weeks? That's not enough! I-I want to stay with him forever!

"We should get going now" Kit said.

I lifted my baggage, but he stopped me. "Let me carry it for you, Crystal" he said politely.

I felt like flying when he touched my hand. I couldn't help grin at him. He's so handsome… (a/n: right? Right?)

Kit carried the baggage outside as we went out. My family waved goodbye at me.

"See you later sister!" Evangeline said.

I smiled at her and waved back. "Take care of the cats and Peggy!" I said.

Evangeline nodded and waved again. My parents waved goodbye too.

"Bye Mom, Dad, Evangeline! I'll see you soon!" I replied sweetly.

A transport painted gold awaited for us in the entrance. A robot drived it. I walked gracefully and delicately towards the vehicle and helped Kit put the baggage inside. Kit later sat next to me.

"Thank you for helping, Kit" I said. It took all my strength not to faint as my sparkling forest green eyes met his dark orbs. My heart almost exploded.

He flashed his charming signature grin "It was my pleasure" he said.

I couldn't help but smile sweetly at him. I quickly looked away once I realized I was blushing. Oh I am so in love with him! But… does he love me?

(Kit's POV)

I looked away from Crystal, using all of my Jedi strength not to blush and embarrass myself infront of her. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in the entire universe. Her maroon-brown hair is so silky and lovely and seems so soft. Her skin is so flawless and delicate and her eyes… her eyes are enchanting. Those forest green orbs are so crystal-clear, magnifisent, scintillating, and breathtaking unlike anything I've ever seen.

Her voice is so soft like silk.

Crystal is so sweet, shy, and innocent. She's the type of girl I like, unlike Aalya who's bossy and slutty with all that revealing cloths. If Aalya tries to do anything to harm her, I'll do anything to save sweet Crystal from that horrible Twi-lik!

But I'm a Jedi Master, I can't fall for her! Besides, my task is to protect her. How am I supposed to do this when I'm in love with her?

(Crystal's POV)

I feel like an air of protectiveness shroud me as Kit held my hand tightly. Oh he's so romantic! Does he know that I'm in love with him?

I brushed a strand of my soft hair away to clear my vision. This is my chance to be with him. Maybe if he loves me back he can take my hand in marriage and leave the Order. But he's… he's a Jedi Master. I think he's too dedikated to love me back.

I remained quite threw the journey as I watched Purewater's beautiful panorama pass by quickly. This would be my second time going away from Purplect. The first one was when I went to Corelia with my parents when they sold some expensive silk and traded them for other kinds of fabrics. I was bored back then, but this journey right now would be fun.

Especially when there's such a handsome young Jedi Master here…

I dared myself to ask, "Kit, may I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

I took a deep breath before asking again. "How old are you?"

"I'm only in my mid-20s." he answered.

Mid-20s and a Jedi Master? Wow.. he must be so strong to be such as young Master.

"Oh, I see."

"How old are you?" he asked, his voice ran deep in my mind.

"I'm 18, K-Kit" I replied, staggering.

He smiled charmingly at me. I felt like my heart's about to stop beating. "You are so brave for a young woman of that age."

(Kit's POV)

18? Wow, she beat Aalya. And unlike that stupid Twi-lik, Crystal's a very nice girl.

Ah, I wish I could stay with her forever…

(AN: OMG that was so romantic, wasn't it? I really hope you like it! Pwease review… Oh and I hate Aayla she's so slutty unlike my innocent OC, Crystal who's such a nice girl. Why do you hate her? She hasn't done anything wrong! PWEASE REVIEW PLUS FAVORITE!)

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**A/N: EEK! That was... *bangs head on the nearest wall*  
T****hank you for reading. I am extremely sorry for the super long wait and for making Kit call Aayla 'horrible' and the purposely-made errors. Well, I am trying to pose as an airhead fangirl, so this is probably how they think about their lust object and their 'rival'. For those who can't stand Faylea's writing, please be patient. Once I've had enough with Crystal, I'll return to my **_**real**_** writing style. Oh and, Aayla will be in the next chapter.**

**Flames towards the Suethor are welcome, as long as they are marked 'To Faylea'. Now, I'll go and read some Reaves-verse EU to recover. I-Five is nagging me!**

**Regards,**

**Agent E**


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